Weight today: 164.2lbs

Hello Blogging world.

The weight listed is probably not extremely accurate considering I had worked out right before I weighed in and the dehydration took off a few extra lbs. How ever, the great thing is that I know the scale is going down.

The other thing about the workout is that it brought Aunty "flo" over to my crib, and I am now officially menstruating. Whoohoo. That does mean that the weight will actually be lower than previous days because I always retain water and weigh in heavier the couple days before my p---iod. Haha. For some reason I feel weird typing that in....PERIOD. ok. Spaziness over.

The other thing I always deal with during menstruation and PMS is cramping. That is a painful Mo.Fo. Like woah. I have to just sit and rest my hand on my belly. Food becomes pretty nauseating to me. And I crave carbs. TOday I ate a naan, and some roti. but thankfully, I couldn't eat TOO TOO much because my cramps got tooo bad. And so I think i can wait until 6pm to eat again, which then automatically regulates my daily eating schedule.

Sorry I haven't been posting food lately. I think I will post food when I feel like I need to regulate and the scale isn't going down. I want to eat moderately and healthily. but i also am going to start incorporating exercise. And I only want to indulge one neurosis at a time. I get too OCD about calorie counting, exercise, etc. etc. etc. I want to integrate things slowly to make them long-lasting. And although the challenge is great motivation, the ultimate test of my body will be the test of time and I need to make my weightloss long lasting, rather than quick and fast-results.

I will say one thing though: Yesterday, I was craving food food food around 4:30pm. And I knew that my body was gearing up for a binge. Which I knew I didn't want to do. So instead of mindless eating until I thought it was right time for dinner time, I ate an early dinner at 5pm. Previously, I would have mulled around trying to find "snacks" until I would allow myself dinner at a more reasonable time of 7 or 8pm. but now I'm learning that I should just follow what my body wants and who cares about what time it is to eat dinner and how lame you might look to your family eating dinner before 6pm. Haha. I had curry, rice and tandoori chicken. Then I wanted dessert. And I knew that this was the key moment when I would either binge or be healthy about eating. For me there always is a moment when I "make" the decision to adopt a fu*k it attitude and just eat whatever the hell I want. And instead, I took one serving of soy mocha fudge icecream, and added some dried coconut, tsp of crushed walnuts and tsp of shaved almonds to create a decadent looking dessert that actually was quite healthy. And I felt lovely afterwards. I had a cup of tea to signal that dinner was over. And then I wasn't hungry all night. I even stayed uptil around 11 or 12 and was fine. I had 2 glasses of water throughout the night and I was done. So lesson of the day: Indulge your cravings but remember to treat yourself gloriously like you are the Goddess you are. Before eating that crappy processed food in a vending machine, or the quick fix microwavable meal that tastes like cardboard, ask yourself "Would your inner-Goddess eat that??" does a goddess deserve to eat that? And indulge your craving in a much more luxurious decadent sense. Because you're worth it.

I think that's it for now.