I won't let the self sabotaging monster win this time!!!

So every time I start losing weight, and seeing results, I start doing behaviors the deliberately self-sabotage. So this time, I will keep those thoughts in mind and picture my sabotage monster as a cute monster that can't do anything to me!! My sabotage monster is at the top of the post.

So exciting news: Weight today: 166lbs!!!

Ridiculous, right?! My body's like that. Quick to lose and quick to gain weight. As soon as I become conscious of what I eat, i lose weight and even the slightest bit of not paying attention--> BOOM 10LB GAIN. It's both motivating and frustrating in its own place.

So I'm going to stay strict about the whole 300 cals, every 3 hours bit. And we're moving the treadmill in my house to the front of the tv!! Yay. For aesthetic reasons, my mom had moved the treadmill to the back of the tv, and it has served more as a decorational piece than anything else these past few months. Now that the parental "unit" as I affectionately call them, has decided to do south beach, they're eating healthier and investing in excercise. So the treadmill will be moved into the location it rightfully deserves. And my love-hate relationship with running will continue again! :D

Just to tell you a little bit about myself:
I am the middle child, and only girl between two brothers, born to Pakistani immigrants. My dad came to the US in college and has lived here ever since. I was born in NY. Lived in CA until I was 6, and moved to Pakistan (the motherland) for 5 years until i was 11. Then I did middle school and high school in boston. I have been studying biology/psychology at Carnegie Mellon University, in Pittsburgh, PA. Now I took a semester off to reevalutate what I want to do with my life and recalibrate/refocus.

I've decided to become a Doctor, but I'm going to switch my major to psychology to keep my sanity. While I'm home, I'm going to be working at Gap, volunteering in childlife (if I get the position) and studying for MCATs. Part of this whole "recalibration process" is adopting a food-excercise lifestyle I can jive with and marry and have babies with and get tatoos of. Basically a lifestyle I can keep for "life". haha. Cliche, I know.

Now without further ado, my eats:

9am: 1 piece toast, with 1/2 tbsp PB and 1 cup tea and 1 pear (~300)
12pm: 1 bowl curry with a piece of chicken (~350 cals)
3pm: tea from morning, with 3 dark chocolate biscuits (150 cals), 1 other type of biscuit (120cals)
6pm: 2oz cheese (120), 1 slice bread (60 cals), 1 chobani strawberry greek yogurt (120)
9pm: 1 cup popcorn kernals (200 cals estimate?), 1 cup icecream (~200 cals)
Other; 1 bowl curry with rice (300 cals)
Total for day: 1920 cals

UPDATE: So some of the sabotaging behavior came to play today with me eating more than my daily allotment of calories. But I didn't actually do as bad as I've done in the past, thanks to the blog and actually being mindful of my calories. I need to have more veggies. That's for sure. I'm having tons of dairy, carbs and protein. I'm not doing bad on fruits. But I'm going to incorporate soups for veggies. All in all, it could have been a lot worse!

By the way, if any of you were wondering what I looked like: