Adult or Child?!

So 20.5 is a weird age. I think I've been going through a "quarter-life crisis". I know that sounds weird, but seriously--> It' s a time at which people (in this case I'm referring to parents) don't know whether to treat you as a child or an adult. Or rather, they play whatever card they want to, depending on how they want the situation to unfold. Like it'll be like "kudret, cook us dinner. you're an adult now. You can do this" Or for today they played the 'kid' card. "Kudret you're watching too much tv. I'm going to ban it for you when you go back to college". That sort of attitude just frustrates me, because I want consistency. But you know, I'm sure it's hard for them too. They have to get used to the idea that I'm independent, am going to be making my own money and eventually will leave them. This is the first time I'm home for longer than 2 months, since high school. And they're reverting back to how they treated me in high school. To be quite honest, it's more my father than my mother. My mother's really adult about this all. My dad is the disciplinarian in our house and sometimes he makes me so mad. It's why I'm sitting in Peets coffee today. I figure leaving the home will just make me more reasonable as a person, and take me to my happy place. I truly believe my dad may be experiencing depression and needs a projecct--Me. He lost his job with the economy going down, and the company he owns isn't making many sales of his product considering how the economy is. He needs things to do, and unfortunately when I"m at home--I become one of his projects. Cue the coffee shop, with it's free wifi, tasty mocha coffee and set of strangers who will not bother me. Sorry that I'm kind of negative right now. I promise to be more cheerful/TMI/bubbly later.

But to set the blog on a happier note, I promised my boyfriend/brother that I will post and introduce you guys to them. And I figure it'll be easier to picture my world a bit if you have visuals. So here are some starter pictures:

This is my little brother .He's 19 years old in February and he's going to Bowdoin college. He's my twin. Since there are only 18 months between us, we have always been treated the same age. And while that can get annoyiing sometimes (since i've had a WHOLE 18 MONTHS more of expeeriences than him! lol) it's super nice having someone who can complete your sentences and be one of your soulmates. Yes I do believe that we can have soulmates, and they go beyond the romantic sense. He's one of my besties! This is a p icture I took of us this morning for the blog


This is the two of us, in our typical silliness. Nyle has always been (much to my jealous nature) the skinny one of our family. Nyle emobodies the skinny "bitch" mentality-- I.e. he knows when he's hungry. He eats what he wants. Stops when he's full. If there's a bag of chips or his favorite food on the counter, he won't go all "predator hunting for prey" on it. He won't engage in secret eating, or binge eating or any of those things you might catch me doing on a bad day. There's no emotion attached to food, and his drug of choice is his Nintendo Wii. Mine involves salt, sugar, butter, milk, anything deliciious. I am a FOODIE. But the truth is that I don't want to stop being a foodie. I love food and I dont want to stop loving it. I just dont' want it to become my abusive boyfriend-->comforting me, hurting me, sabotaging me, support me. I need it. I want it. I love it. But I also hate it sometimes. Let's seek relationship counseling and develop a healthier relationship with our abuser-->let's learn to eat. As kooky as that sounds.

Now onto the boyfriend: Here are some pictures of us that I'm sure only I will enjoy as much as I do:
This is us in our better states:

I love this picture because I love the way the sun was hitting our faces. I want to give him some jazzy name with which I can refer to him. he coudl be Bollywood Hero. Haha Or BH for short. I'ono. THe story as to how i met him is soo bollywood--or Bombay Hollywood for those of you who are not familiar with my people. haha.

we met on the street- no not in a "i was wearing fishnets, and he drove up in a limo" sketchy sense. It was like this: I had been dating this guy who started being mean and playing games with me. So I decided after much frustration, that I would smilie at any cute guy I saw on the street. It was like "I am a strong, empowered woman. i don't need no man. I will smile at whoever I damn well please, and no one will have any control on how good I feel right now." and I was feeling all "sasha fierce" or whatever that creepy alter-ego name that beyonce has adopted for herself. So out of the University of Pittsburgh gym walks this tall, light skinned cup of mocha deliciousness. I decide to smile at him. He's walking with two friends. He smiles back. I'm like score!! I got my hot man smile of the day. That was the end of the interaction--or so I thought.

I was walking a few steps more when I felt that eery sensation--you know the one where you know someone's looking at you. So i turned around and his two friends had stopped and were looking at me. I just shrugged and kept on walking. But I turned around again and I saw him looking at me. At this point I had started crossing to his side of the street. But he didn't know that and started running to my side, almost got hit by a car, tripped and finally made it to the side of the street where we both were. I then saw him running towards me. I suddenly was faced with a dilmemna. If he was running towards me and I didn't stop--I just missed the opportunity to talk to a beautiful beautiful man. If I stopped and he WASN'T running towards me--well that would be my embarassing moment of the day (believe me--i have tons daily). So i stopped and looked at my phone, pretending I was looking at a text message. He ran up to me

"Hi" he said, out of breath slightly
"hi" i said-- making it extra breathy and sexy

HE then introduced himself and invited me to a party. Throught his interaction I found out he was a biology major at Pitt (like me, except i go to carnegie mellon). So I asked him for his number (there was no way I was going to give him my number, despite the fact that he looked so damn good in my own eyes). I took his number and decided right then and there that I was going to call him later say " i couldn't make it to the party and ask him for a date". Well we talked the next morning and agreed ot meet for a date that night. I went on the greatest night of my life. We met at 6:30 and hung out until 5 the next morning--just talking and hanging out. Nothing physical in the amorous deparment. Just tons of mind-gasms with his great conversation, and heart palpitations with his good looks. That was almost 7 months ago and things have been great since.

Here are some more pictures that amuse me and epitomize our relationship:
Me throwing up my version of gang sings, and him being exasperated with me being silly. HAHAHa








Me doing the awkward turtle dance and him hiding behind his book. I'm always the silly one. Except when I get him out of his shell. I have no inhibitions and normally do whatever I want wherever I please. He keeps me decent. and as normal as I can get.



Here is the final picture. This is us in August. I'll always be happy to post more pictures But I think this post is too long already and I haven't even started talking about food or nothing. Mr BH is 6'5, and is multiracial: Black, puerto rican and mexican and native american and of course some white as is inherent in a term like black. I'm pakistani so I'm excited to see how our kids wil turn out one day. Especially with me being like 5'7, I think they'll be these huge, racially ambigous beasts. HAHA. just cuz both me and my man are pretty big/muscular for our respective genders and sizes.

Now onto food/health issues:
Today's weight: 166lbs. It was so weird: i woke up and weighed myself: 167.5 I decided to pee and weigh myself 166lbs. I didn't realize that I carry 1.5lbs of pee in the morning. That is rather disgusting but good to know that ifmy weight suddenly goes up randomly, I Just have to pop a squat on a toilet, do my business and see if my weight is affected.

Now onto food:
9am: 2eggs worth of omlette with lots of veggies and 1oz cheese (~300 calories)
12pm: 1 medium Peet's Caffe Mocha with sugar free chocolate, skim milk, no whip (~200 calories)
My blood sugar got too low at around 3pm, and I went to a restaurant and made choices that were not necessarily great for the body: I ate 3 bread rolls (which is ok, considering I hadn't had ANY carbs), and a kids size order of chicken tenders and fries. And 2 unsweetened ice teas. I figure this is probably my lunch and dinner combined since I ate it at like 4 or 5pm. So I don't know how this will affect the scale. But it's been accounted for and that's what matters!

As you know, this section will be updated throughout the day. Sorry if this post got too long.