New Host

Ok so here's the deal. I love blogging and will continue doing it. But I originally created this template with my friend, who was the main author and so I cannot make any changes to this template and I prefer a really simple host like wordpress to advance my blogging skills. So I've created a new blog that will chronicle my daily life/fitness journey with a lot more pictures and diary style entries.

The blog is called "Foodie getting Fit"
and the url is :
http://foodiegettingfit.wordpress.com/

So I would really really appreciate it SO much if you guys commented on that blog and I'll continue to stop by yours and comment. I love having you guys witness my journeys and you move me daily :D

If only for today

It's a glorious day and wonderful day to embrace the body that Mother Earth/God/The Universe/Science has given you. YOu should treat it right even if it's just for today, nourishing it with fruits, vegetables and filling foods that you enjoy and that give you a sensual experience, exiting your olfactory senses, pleasuring your taste buds and stimulating your eyes with their colors/textures/patterns. Feel beautiful, if only for today. Stand straight with your eyes meeting everybody's gaze proudly. DO not hide behind big clothes or layers of skin. Just stand proud and tall. If you believe you are beautiful, everyone else will too. And in case you don't believe that you are beautiful, remember that I do. I think you have beautiful hair that catches rays of sunlight. It hink you have beautiful eyes that see into eveybody elses and can see the pleasures of this world. I think you have a beautiful nose that can smell just about anything. I think your mouth is full and pink and is the opening for your thoughts and feelings to come through in the form of voice. I think your arms are strong and can pick up a crying child, lay a hand on someone who needs support and help you reach far beyond your immediate grasp. They are not too flabby today. They are capable. I think your chest is not too big or too small. It is perfect to lie down on. It is perfect to hold your heart, lungs and ribs in. It is perfect to feed a hungry child. It is perfect to provide a place for someone to lie their crying head. It is perfect for you. Your stomach is not too big. It is so capable and readily digests anything you put inside. Even if it has extra layers of skin, it is your core, and it holds you up. It is beautiful for being there to hold you up, when no one else can't. it keeps you upright and walking tall. It is the complement to your back and anchors your spine. I think your legs are absolutely gorgeous and muscular and beautiful and capable and infinite in their abilites to take you further and further across this world. They connect your head to your feet. They allow you to kick, jump, bounch, sit, stand and crawl. They have been there with you from the beginning and ever since you learnt how to use them, they have been yoru companion throughout this journey. They do not need to be thinner or more toned, JUST FOR TODAY. they are perfect. If only for today. So remember. YOu are perfect. If only just for today. Although believing this everyday will hopefully help you believe it too. I love you. Sincerely: Your body. Your heart. The part of you that wants to believe that you are truly worth it and you deserve it.

Weight: 163.4lbs
breakfast: 1 nectarine, 1 bowl kashi h2h cereal with 1% milk, 1 cup tea
snack:
lunch:
snack:
dinner:

Renewed

Last week I made a whole set of changes in my life that ultimately I think will benefit me in terms of my energy levels, happiness and productivity in terms of my MCATs studying. I cut back on my volunteering hours (I only volunteer Monday mornings, Tuesdays and Fridays) and have only been working two-three days during the week.

In terms of weight loss--I haven't lost and I haven't gained. This week's weight reading was 163.4lbs, which is the same as it has been these past two weeks. Anyways I do have a renewed sense of determination in terms of getting to where I've always wanted to be in terms of my health and fitness goals. I believe that to ultimately get to your weight loss goals, you have a graph that looks as follows:
There is not a steady or linear downward graph, but rather a graph with plateaus and even in some cases small gains along the way. And I am in one of those plateaus. It's like the phase change diagram for water, where water stays between each phase (be it water, ice or steam) for a range of temperatures before it switches to a whole new phase. I am stuck in this 161-164lb phase and will have to make renewed efforts to get the graph to start moving down again. Which brings me to one of my goals that I shall seriously implement these upcoming months:

Operation: BECOME an ATHLETE.


I love Serena Williams body. It's curvaceous but yet so strong and meaty and muscular. She looks like an amazonian woman, with thick thighs and strong arms. She doesn't by any means look skinny or weak. She looks capable. Everything I want to be in terms of an athlete.

Too often, I have shied away from certain exercises/sabotaged my efforts believing that my unathletic ability was tied into the idea that I would be the fat out-of-shape girl for the rest of my life. Me-an athlete?! The idea was laughable. But I know that I am my biggest hurdle. I can be whomever I want, and athlete is certainly included within my repertoire. I am incredibly strong and have a lot of mental discipline when I want to be in focus. I have the legs, the stamina and the cardiovascular system all built into making this happen. And I don't believe for a second that I couldn't just spend 10-15 minutes a day making this happen. The key to making this goal happen is consistency and self-belief that I CAN DO IT. And so this is my goal for the year, and for the rest of my life. I would like to be able to run 2miles at a time without that number seeming daunting. I want to do triathlons and races (5Ks and 10Ks alike) and become IN-SHAPE. And that's what I want to do more than anything. Use my body as the capable, able instrument it is. This morning I woke up at 6:50am, got on the treadmil by 7:15 and ran until 7:30. Now I know for many of you this is laughable, but I RAN. without stopping. For over 1 mile. Like 1.25 miles. Which is more than I've done in a year and the endurance is what I need to harvest more than anything. The speed will come. It's endurance I need to grow.

In other things, I need to start doing MCATs tests. I have been studying the material and it is just not helping me. I am a results-based learner and I need to do exams and improve my score to actually feel like I'm learning. So that's what I'm going to start doing.

I have been doing self-sabotaging things and will stop those immediately. I have to go back to timed eating--not calorie counting restrictively, but eating things every 3 or so hours to make sure I don't binge and don't let myself get too hungry. I am eating tons of veggies and fruits and LOVING IT.

I am SOO EXCITED THAT SPRING IS HERE. I love summer and spring and any time I can breathe outside without seeing physical condensation.
Here' s a view outside my window. It's absolutely beautiful to wake up to this every morning:

P.s. Thanks for the comments on the pictures I posted. You guys sure know how to make this blogging thing worth it :D

I put away my scale

That's how I felt better. By putting away my scale I got back my mental sanity. To some degree, of course. but i'm feeling much better, much more rational and much more in control of myself. I might not weigh in this week because I need the mental break from that plastic piece of work. Anyways, here are some pictures of me and my boo!

Sorry for the blurriness---i got the pictures via ichat, because his camera couldn't transfer them to my computer. But you get an idea:

Why?

Why do I do this to myself. These past two weeks I have been drowning myself emotionally in foods and making terrible food choices regardless of the consequences. I'll have two good days and then a day like yesterday where I eat 3000+ calories and UNDO any healthy steps I've taken in the first place. I have been feeling overwhelmed and exhausted and just making bad food choices as a result. I need to wise up and go back to calorie counting because clearly this whole intuitive eating is backfiring in my face when I became emotionally strapped and need some sort of outlet. I want to feel good about my eating habits.

I think I'm going to food journal and for the next two days drink around 2-3L of water just to cleanse out whatever shit I put in yesterday. I'll update this post later but I just needed to vent a little bit to calm myself down and get out of this straitjacket of frustration.

Eats:
2 slices toast with 2 slices fat free cheese (90+50=140)
Medium nonfat latte (146 calories via Peet's Coffee website)

Pictures

Food yesterday was pretty good. In the past two days I've lost 1lb of the weight on Sunday,so that's not too bad. I'm hoping to lose like 2 or 3 of those 4lbs. It'll come off slowly but surely. I think my body needs to be slowly moved into the 150s and I jolted the system by moving it there in around 2 weeks. I was 161.8, then 160.8 and then 159.4 so that was too much weight loss in three weeks. I'm currently at 162.4lbs and so I'll try to get it slowly down to 161lbs this next sunday and then spend 2 or 3 weeks trying to get it down to 159lbs. That's how my body works. Slow and unassuming in its weight loss.

Now onto pics of me and the man for his glorious week here:


EDIT blogger is not letting me upload pictures due to an "internal error" so I'll try again later.

It's only tuesday and I feel MUCH MUCH better

I'm feeling more in control and more mindful about what I'm putting into my body> plus I'm not feeling so overwhelmed about where life is going and how I'm going to deal with these bumps in the road.
I've adopted a "fake it, til' you make it" attitude in regards to so many things in my life. in terms of weight loss, I'm faking being a skinny person who doesn't have food issues in the hopes that it'll turn into a reality. In terms of studying/jobs, I'll fake being the smart, put-together pre-medical student who is ambitious,driven and self-assured until I get all the way to becoming a doctor. I am not as self-confident or self-assured as I look and this fake it attitude will definitely help me get there. In terms of relationship I try to be so secure, honest, trusting and self-assured. Most of my doubts in a relationship relate to me: am i pretty enough, will he love me enough, do i interest him enough---I know on a concious level that I am pretty enough, he does love me and I do interest him but on a subconcious level related to that fat girl in the last couple posts I showed, I believe I'm not good enough or worth it. So I try to fake being these things and within that act, grows a reality that I am those things.

So I'll post pictures of my boyfriend's trip when I get home but for now, this is my update.