So I am stuck. I am between the weight of 164 and 165lbs and I have been stuck between these two numbers for the past 2-3 weeks. Now I am NOT going to give up or call it a day. Although yesterday out of frustration I binged. I don't know why, but sometimes I eat a lot so that my weight will creep out of that zone and I'll be remotivated. Does anyone relate to what I'm talking about?? Like this morning I saw 166lbs and I was like "oh oh, must get right back on the boat" and felt a renewed sense of motivation. Last night I dreamt that I was writing a post for this blog. So this morning I woke up and knew I had to write a post because I got a sign from my subconcious that the time was NOW.
I have been re-evaluating the way I see my weight loss. I will not see it as the ends-all be all. Since I have been working in a hospital full-time, I am surrounded by medical jargon and disease talk ALL THE TIME. So I have started applying that sort of talk to my own life. So if I see my unhealthiness as a physical condition or manifestation fo bad health, then I will treat it with the same care that I treat any other diseases that find their way in my life.
So let's frame it this way:
I am diagnosed with "unhealthy living-ness" which is a chronic medical condition in that I do not use food as nutrition only and often use food as a coping mechanism, binging and eat far beyond what I need to to deal with problems in my life.
Now I want to treat this unhealthy life style with some care and treatment plans. By making it an objective thing rather than a personal thing, you are prevented from being mean to yourself and saying "i am so fat and ugly" or "i should be disgusted with myself". This is a problem going on in your body and sure you have control over it, but did you necessarily cause it or are you entirely responsible for it?? There have been countless biological studies showing that sugar is more addictive than heroin and people show varying ranges of addiction to sugar. Also, we should not be punished for choosing food as a coping mechanism; it is around all the time, and we SHOULD enjoy food with our families, during celebrations, as a culture. The problem comes into play when we enjoy food in vast quantities secretly, in our car or in our bedroom and keep "hidden stashes" for coping. It's a problem when we come home and consume 3000 calories, trying to hide it from everyone we know. It's a problem when we get into binge mode and take food from our roommate without her knowing, because WE JUST HAD TO HAVE IT. I've been there, and the way I was thinking was definitely not normal in that moment. And I was ignoring all my bodily cues to get that food into my body. So unhealthy life style is the condition
Treatment Options: So I am trying to couter the unhealthy lifestyle with a "healthy lifestyle". What is a healthy lifestyle? Well the main focus is the nourishment of my body. I want to feed it with foods I like and foods I want (Obviously!). A healthy lifestyle means I can indulge in what I want and still listen to my food cues to make sure I don't binge or overdo it. I want to be one of those people who gets physical exercise in every day in some form or the other. EVEN IN WINTER! I want to go to a party and not have any freakouts about what foods they're serving. I dont' want to self-sabotage or be unhappy with my body. I want to self-love completely and unconditionally. I want to wake up and take off my clothes, stretch and love what I see. That's the treatment I need to do and the results I want to see. Medications include good food, physical activity and LOTS OF SELF-LOVE.
Side-effects for all those medications should include: more toned muscles, better stamina both in and out of the sack ( haha!), weight loss (this is a side-effect, not a main result because my focus is on the lifestyle itself) and better skin.
Things I need to note as being counter-effective to the healthy lifestyle/symptoms of the condition:
1. I have had my period for 2 or 3 weeks now and so my hormones still have not regulated yet.
2. I have stopped tracking and I think that maybe necessary to achieve the weight-loss I need at least for the time being
3. I haven't exercised in 2 weeks because I work every day and every weekend doing two jobs. I need to squeeze this in, even for 10-20 mins/day
That's what I have so far. I will address each of these concerns and try to track again too!
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Thanks for always stopping by my blog. I read yours all the time but never seem to find the time to leave a comment. I'm making myself do it today.
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing writer. I love reading your posts! I'm in the same boat as you are right now. I'm sticking around the same 2 pounds up and down for the last week. I haven't been able to bust through it, but I'm not going to give up. If I give up I will not lose any more. I just need to be patient and be happy with the 13 pounds I've lost since the beginning of the year. It sucks a little though because it's going to make February feel like a wasted weight loss month. I'm going to try not to think of it that way!
yeah I can see how all that working is throwing you off the exercise track, but you're still moving in a positive direction
ReplyDeleteI am stuck too. I hate being stuck. My motivation is zapped!
ReplyDeleteI decided to go off the pill mostly because it is the only thing that I can relate my weight gain to. I have felt really crappy since starting - upset stomach, moody, a little blah. I just don't think it is right for me to be messing with my hormones at this stage in my life.
I need to start tracking my food again too - blah. I just don't feel like doing it right now!
Hey, welcome back. Glad things settled down a bit so you could post, I missed reading you. This is another great one. I just love the way you are approaching getting healthy. Steps like this are what is going to make it stick and last.
ReplyDeletelove this post (and i, too, have been stuck between those numbers)... you have a great attitude so how could one not succeed with thoughts like that! :)
ReplyDeleteI notice that doing even just a little bit of exercise first thing in the morning motivates me to eat healthier for the rest of the day. It is hard though, I've been stuck the last couple of weeks also. Finally doing better though! I think you go thru different stages with weight loss.
ReplyDeleteEnjoying food in secret places is something I did often. I can totally relate to this post. And the looking at the scale as a motivator, I do that as well. Hang in there, hopefully life will settle a bit for you to fit in some exercise.
ReplyDelete