He's COMING!!!

Thanks for all the compliments ladies! You really do know how to make a girl feel beautiful :D

THE BOYFRIEND IS COMING IN 1.5 HOURS. Can you tell I'm excited?!?! hahaha. I'm sooo psyched. It's been 3 months too long and I need a dose of him. I love him and have missed him so much. This week is both parts stressful and exciting because my guy is meeting all the other guys in my life (dad, brothers, cousins etc.). So I anticipate some awkwardness, but hopefully just goodness in general. We're planning on meeting friends, chilling out and doing lots of restaurant-ing~ So in all honesty, weight wise I don't anticipate any big loss or small loss. I'll take the status quo. I'm between 160.8 and 161.5 and I'm pretty happy in this range for now. I feel beautiful and healthy and feel like I can indulge a little bit while staying in this range. In terms of long term goals I would like to be around 10lbs down from where I am now. I'll be able to maintain that weight and still retain the general curviness that is me.

I took off the next three days off from all my work jobs to just spend time with him exclusively. Of course by exclusively I mean with my brothers and friends. But it's still perfect for me. I just can't wait to touch him in person. I'm excited for cuddling and holding hands and skin to skin contact. Can you tell how excited I am by all the gushing I'm doing?! God I'm making myself gag :D
haha. So that's the update. I'm doing well eating wise and just staying active in my day-to day lifestyle. The weather is SLOOOOWLY getting warmer to around the 40s an 50s. I can't wait for spring to kick in with full force. It snowed yesterday and that was no fun. I'm ready to breakup with winter and have a full fledged affair with spring. I would even consider cheating on spring with summer :D I'm a summer baby and thrive in all things associated with hot weather. I love humidity too. I'm a weirdo like that. And rain is my favorite weather in the summer. When I was born it was raining and it's rained for the past 5 or 6 birthdays so I truly feel like rain in my little present. Haha. Chessy much? I think I should stop writing before I make myself throwup. Haha. But I can't help it. Love is in the air and so is spring. Hope everyone can feel as happy as I do at this moment! :D

Post Coming Soon

I took this picture today while playing with makeup. Whenever i start to feel sad, I play with makeup and it makes me feel better. yes I'm a dork.

I think I'm addicted to the internet ;(

I spend WAAAY TOO MUCH TIME on my computer> I watch shows, read celebrity gossip, facebook my friends constantly, read headlines etc. etc. etc. I spend hours and hours online just stationary in one place. Instead of moving and enjoying life and having stories of my own to tell, i spend hours vicariously living through others. So I'm testing myself by only allowing 1 hour of internet this entire weekend. I promise I'll look into your blogs on monday, but for now I don' t like how this computer is slowly taking over my life, and I'm losing the life itself I have. SO I'm off to get dressed, and take a nice long walk and get my life back! I'll check in on Monday!

Oh 150s...I can just smell you!!

Weigh In: 160.8.
Loss for the week: -1.0lb

SOOO CLOSE to the 150s!! When I get down below 160, I'll take progress pics and report measurement stats for the 10lb benchmark.

Mind Games

Does anyone else hate the frackin' mind games the scale plays a few days before your perioD?? My weigh in is tomorrow but as of now, I'm up 0.6lbs. I know THAT'S NOT TRUE and that it's hormonal changes. Ughh. I should be thanking my body right now for making sure that I've got enough water in me to prevent any kind of anemia.

Dear body,
I'm sorry I'm yelling at you. you are beautifully made and fuction seamlessly. You look damn good naked and that number is just that: A NUMBER. So I should stop freaking out. You are doing a fine ass job keeping me alive as my body prepares to lose some blood. (sorry for the graphics). But in reality there are weak moments where I'm like UGHH WHY DO I WEIGH MORE when I eat less. And I know this is an illusion. and you're testing me. and I'm testing you too. I love you. Let's make up. I don't wanna start my day angry at you. I think you're pretty pretty awesome. Thanks for the hourglass figure. Now if you could do me a favor and manage to shed 2lbs by tonight that would be a bonus. But if you think that's a vital 2lbs to your functioning for the upcoming days, then by all means keep it. And I'll figure a way to deal.
Let's not go to bed mad.
Kud

PMS-ing....

Ok so yesterday I had a PMS binge. It happens almost every month and is generally an indicator of when my period will come. After my binge, I expect the flo to show (rhymes!) around 24-48 hours post-binge. I ate around 2700 or 2800 calories yesterday. About 1000 calories above my general daily intake. I used to feel guilty. Now I don't. Why? Because this is my body's way of letting me know that my period is coming. I fully embrace the idea that you can communicate with your body and allow it to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly. This qualifies under one of the communications with my body that I could ignore and go on my way. But honestly, what difference do those extra 1000 calories make in the long run? Sure these women's magazines will tell you that eating one extra apple, or one small bag of chips a day will cumulate in a 20lb gain or something crazy like that, over the period of 10 years. They operate on a mode of food fear. You should fear food and avoid going beyond x-amount of calories to reach this "x-weight" which THEY call your happy weight regardless of whether or not your body really wants to be there. I don't operate that way. I believe that each person's body has its own genetic code for a happy weight range and allows environmental factors to shift that range a few pounds (or tens of pounds in desperate cases like starvation or malnutrition) up or down. So I want my body to tell me that range. And if that requires my body engaging in a pre-menstrual binge, then so be it. It literally has hapened every month for the past couple years. ANd in all honesty those weight effects that result post-binge go away as soon as my period is over. I think its just fat stores that my body uses for the extra energy. I really crave meats and iron-containing foods. I also eat extra carbs but not too many. I just think it's natural and healthy and so I will not feel guilty for it! I think that my body will make up for it through the course of the week. This morning I didn't want anythiing heavy and was craving fruits: so i made a smoothie with some strawberries, blueberries and milk. I also want to walk a few miles just to get some brisk exercise in my day. It's this kind of negotiating with your body or "communicating" that helps us maintain healthy figures and sane minds. It's like you're married to your body. If your body wants to buy the 56" plasma television then you tell it that it must cut back somewhere else, like on the season tickets to the red sox games of the year. Similarly if my body wants to eat an extra 1000 calories then it also will probably crave lower calorie foods throughout the week. So now I'm going to step off of my soap box and remind you all to JUST COMMUNICATE with your bodies.

I'm still alive. Sorry for taking such a big writing hiatus

So I put this picture up to start my post because I AM SOOOOOO EXCITED that my man is going to be right next to me in a week. Next tuesday on the 10th, I will be picking him up at the airport. He'll be mine in the flesh for five glorious days. I just cannot articulate how anxious I am for this week to go by. The thing is that we've been apart for only 3 months. But during these three months, he's had to deal with the grief of losing both his grandparents and being the rock for his grieving mother. On top of that, he's been dealing with the economy and how that's impacting his financing of college. And it's been tough for our relationship, partly because I have to be his rock and I've never done that before. We've been going out for around 9 months but it feels like longer. It's the most adult relationship I've had and the most fulfilling. I need to stop writing or I'll vomit reading my own gushing ;D haha This picture was taken last year, during the summer...

Ok onto the present: I got a snow day today!! We got 15+ inches of snow and it was crazy to be driving in this weather. My cousin tried to drive to work in the morning and his car got stuck. It took lots of shoveling and a snow blower to be able to move his car. Of course he did end of going to work, but that's because he's crazy....After all, he is related to ME. *laughter ensues*. So I took a sick day on friday (being sick--more on that next paragraph) and had a snow day today. I did work saturday and sunday at the gap for 7 or 8 hours each day, but I got two days completely off which hasn't happened in a while. I spent the day in my pajamas, and felt super relaxed and happy. I saw the movie The Producers with Nathan Lane and Mathew Broderick which I'd never seen before. It was super funny and my father and I enjoyed it immensely. So tomorrow is back to work, but this week will be MUCH better than the last due to the past days taken off and the future impending arrival of my beloved.

In other health news:
1. I have an Afghanistan sized pimple on my chin and the urge to eat ALL DAY LONG....what could this signify. THINK. where have you felt these emotions before....when does your usually clear face become a topographic map of the middle east?? Oh right...AROUND YOUR PERIOD. So all hands on deck. Or rather all tampons: Make yourself available and all white pants...remove yourself from my sight.
2. I am not as sick anymore. i think "Me, only Better" had it right--I was pushing myself too hard. And I need to take more days to rest. Everyone is telling me this. I just am somewhat of a workaholic: once I get into the scheme of things, I thrive on the adrenaline rush of too much work. I need to scale back. Plus I didn't get a flu shot this year. And considering I spend ALL day long taking care of babies-children who are suffering from the flu, I am highly susceptible. So I got my exposure, and hopefully can move forward from the disease.

Now on my new eating way: It's going super well. I am eating soooo many veggies and fruits. I feel healthy and nourished and my general health (besides the obvious virus) has improved. I am no longer counting calories. I am seeing numbers that are in the 160.X range. So if my official weight is around 160, I'll be taking new measurements and posting progress photos. I haven't been this low since June and it's rocking my world. :D
So there's the update for now. I'll try to be less of a ghost in the blogging world....Lots of love, hugs and kissies.