Weight this morning: 163.4lbs!!!
So that's a loss of -0.6lbs. Haha, slllooooooooooow and steady weight loss for sure. In the past three weeks I've lost 1.4lbs, but hey slow weight loss is easier to hold off. Right?! I'll do what I'm doing and see what happens next week. I know this is tMI but I still have my period 3 weeks later, so I'm going to see if that lets up and the weight goes down more dramatically...Pants are fitting better and I feel slimmer. So I'll just do what I'm doing.
Lots of love all around blog land!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It's Thursday!! Two days away from a 3-day weekend!!
Whoohoo. Time for another bubbly post a'la Kud!
Thanks for ALL your sweet/kind/inspiring comments yesterday. It made me feel loved and respected and I totally appreciate the time you guys take out of your God-knows-how-busy days to read what I write and give some commentary. Thanks so much. It inspires me to wake up the next day and write a quick post on the positives in my life:
So basic updates/yays in my life:
1. I think I'm going to go off of the pill. It's been 3 weeks that I've had my period and it's getting heavier which is NOT NORMAL at all and I do not want to go higher up in my dosage of hormones so I'm going to go off of it and see what happens.
2. I woke up this morning and did wii-fit yoga. I decided I wanted to get a nice stretch in the morning and what better sets your day of right than 15 minutes of yoga on Fernando (my wii fit board). Me and Fernando had a good ol' time if yaknowwhati'msayin'.....haha. Could I be any greasier?!
3. I'm off to work with kids who are sick and it involves me playing, doing arts and crafts, holding sick infants and helping out the parents with traumatized siblings. I love doing what I do and today should be no different.
4. I am listening to a Billie Holliday song and drinking tea, which is the ultimate soothing ritual in the morning, showing myself some self-love and luxury during these difficult times
5. I'm going on a friend-date with one of my best friends tomorrow who also is not celebrating V-day with a man (sadly my man is in pittsburgh, and she's single) so we're dating eachother friday night---We're doing a double feature of girl flicks, starting off with He's just not that into you and moving onto Confessions of a Shopaholic
6. I'm going to a Sitaar concert with my parents on V-day, going to get my ethnic on :D
7. I'm going to Bowdoin to visit my little Bro (he's 19, haha) at College, on Sunday and get to see his college for the first time and spend some quality family time
8. MONDAY'S A HOLIDAY!!!!
Ok, that' s it. I hope some of this positive energy flies off of the screen and rubs off on you. Be happy! Regardless of your body size, or perhaps dare I say it...Because of it!, feel happy that you're healthy, walking, seeing, tasting, smelling and touching person with your intact being. And even if you're injured/ill, be sure to remember that you're alive, enjoying the air that everyone else is breathing and just take a second to remember all the positives in your life. Ok, I'm signing out now. I'll stop by your blogs when I get home in the afternoon. Adios!
Thanks for ALL your sweet/kind/inspiring comments yesterday. It made me feel loved and respected and I totally appreciate the time you guys take out of your God-knows-how-busy days to read what I write and give some commentary. Thanks so much. It inspires me to wake up the next day and write a quick post on the positives in my life:
So basic updates/yays in my life:
1. I think I'm going to go off of the pill. It's been 3 weeks that I've had my period and it's getting heavier which is NOT NORMAL at all and I do not want to go higher up in my dosage of hormones so I'm going to go off of it and see what happens.
2. I woke up this morning and did wii-fit yoga. I decided I wanted to get a nice stretch in the morning and what better sets your day of right than 15 minutes of yoga on Fernando (my wii fit board). Me and Fernando had a good ol' time if yaknowwhati'msayin'.....haha. Could I be any greasier?!
3. I'm off to work with kids who are sick and it involves me playing, doing arts and crafts, holding sick infants and helping out the parents with traumatized siblings. I love doing what I do and today should be no different.
4. I am listening to a Billie Holliday song and drinking tea, which is the ultimate soothing ritual in the morning, showing myself some self-love and luxury during these difficult times
5. I'm going on a friend-date with one of my best friends tomorrow who also is not celebrating V-day with a man (sadly my man is in pittsburgh, and she's single) so we're dating eachother friday night---We're doing a double feature of girl flicks, starting off with He's just not that into you and moving onto Confessions of a Shopaholic
6. I'm going to a Sitaar concert with my parents on V-day, going to get my ethnic on :D
7. I'm going to Bowdoin to visit my little Bro (he's 19, haha) at College, on Sunday and get to see his college for the first time and spend some quality family time
8. MONDAY'S A HOLIDAY!!!!
Ok, that' s it. I hope some of this positive energy flies off of the screen and rubs off on you. Be happy! Regardless of your body size, or perhaps dare I say it...Because of it!, feel happy that you're healthy, walking, seeing, tasting, smelling and touching person with your intact being. And even if you're injured/ill, be sure to remember that you're alive, enjoying the air that everyone else is breathing and just take a second to remember all the positives in your life. Ok, I'm signing out now. I'll stop by your blogs when I get home in the afternoon. Adios!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Re-evaluations
So I am stuck. I am between the weight of 164 and 165lbs and I have been stuck between these two numbers for the past 2-3 weeks. Now I am NOT going to give up or call it a day. Although yesterday out of frustration I binged. I don't know why, but sometimes I eat a lot so that my weight will creep out of that zone and I'll be remotivated. Does anyone relate to what I'm talking about?? Like this morning I saw 166lbs and I was like "oh oh, must get right back on the boat" and felt a renewed sense of motivation. Last night I dreamt that I was writing a post for this blog. So this morning I woke up and knew I had to write a post because I got a sign from my subconcious that the time was NOW.
I have been re-evaluating the way I see my weight loss. I will not see it as the ends-all be all. Since I have been working in a hospital full-time, I am surrounded by medical jargon and disease talk ALL THE TIME. So I have started applying that sort of talk to my own life. So if I see my unhealthiness as a physical condition or manifestation fo bad health, then I will treat it with the same care that I treat any other diseases that find their way in my life.
So let's frame it this way:
I am diagnosed with "unhealthy living-ness" which is a chronic medical condition in that I do not use food as nutrition only and often use food as a coping mechanism, binging and eat far beyond what I need to to deal with problems in my life.
Now I want to treat this unhealthy life style with some care and treatment plans. By making it an objective thing rather than a personal thing, you are prevented from being mean to yourself and saying "i am so fat and ugly" or "i should be disgusted with myself". This is a problem going on in your body and sure you have control over it, but did you necessarily cause it or are you entirely responsible for it?? There have been countless biological studies showing that sugar is more addictive than heroin and people show varying ranges of addiction to sugar. Also, we should not be punished for choosing food as a coping mechanism; it is around all the time, and we SHOULD enjoy food with our families, during celebrations, as a culture. The problem comes into play when we enjoy food in vast quantities secretly, in our car or in our bedroom and keep "hidden stashes" for coping. It's a problem when we come home and consume 3000 calories, trying to hide it from everyone we know. It's a problem when we get into binge mode and take food from our roommate without her knowing, because WE JUST HAD TO HAVE IT. I've been there, and the way I was thinking was definitely not normal in that moment. And I was ignoring all my bodily cues to get that food into my body. So unhealthy life style is the condition
Treatment Options: So I am trying to couter the unhealthy lifestyle with a "healthy lifestyle". What is a healthy lifestyle? Well the main focus is the nourishment of my body. I want to feed it with foods I like and foods I want (Obviously!). A healthy lifestyle means I can indulge in what I want and still listen to my food cues to make sure I don't binge or overdo it. I want to be one of those people who gets physical exercise in every day in some form or the other. EVEN IN WINTER! I want to go to a party and not have any freakouts about what foods they're serving. I dont' want to self-sabotage or be unhappy with my body. I want to self-love completely and unconditionally. I want to wake up and take off my clothes, stretch and love what I see. That's the treatment I need to do and the results I want to see. Medications include good food, physical activity and LOTS OF SELF-LOVE.
Side-effects for all those medications should include: more toned muscles, better stamina both in and out of the sack ( haha!), weight loss (this is a side-effect, not a main result because my focus is on the lifestyle itself) and better skin.
Things I need to note as being counter-effective to the healthy lifestyle/symptoms of the condition:
1. I have had my period for 2 or 3 weeks now and so my hormones still have not regulated yet.
2. I have stopped tracking and I think that maybe necessary to achieve the weight-loss I need at least for the time being
3. I haven't exercised in 2 weeks because I work every day and every weekend doing two jobs. I need to squeeze this in, even for 10-20 mins/day
That's what I have so far. I will address each of these concerns and try to track again too!
I have been re-evaluating the way I see my weight loss. I will not see it as the ends-all be all. Since I have been working in a hospital full-time, I am surrounded by medical jargon and disease talk ALL THE TIME. So I have started applying that sort of talk to my own life. So if I see my unhealthiness as a physical condition or manifestation fo bad health, then I will treat it with the same care that I treat any other diseases that find their way in my life.
So let's frame it this way:
I am diagnosed with "unhealthy living-ness" which is a chronic medical condition in that I do not use food as nutrition only and often use food as a coping mechanism, binging and eat far beyond what I need to to deal with problems in my life.
Now I want to treat this unhealthy life style with some care and treatment plans. By making it an objective thing rather than a personal thing, you are prevented from being mean to yourself and saying "i am so fat and ugly" or "i should be disgusted with myself". This is a problem going on in your body and sure you have control over it, but did you necessarily cause it or are you entirely responsible for it?? There have been countless biological studies showing that sugar is more addictive than heroin and people show varying ranges of addiction to sugar. Also, we should not be punished for choosing food as a coping mechanism; it is around all the time, and we SHOULD enjoy food with our families, during celebrations, as a culture. The problem comes into play when we enjoy food in vast quantities secretly, in our car or in our bedroom and keep "hidden stashes" for coping. It's a problem when we come home and consume 3000 calories, trying to hide it from everyone we know. It's a problem when we get into binge mode and take food from our roommate without her knowing, because WE JUST HAD TO HAVE IT. I've been there, and the way I was thinking was definitely not normal in that moment. And I was ignoring all my bodily cues to get that food into my body. So unhealthy life style is the condition
Treatment Options: So I am trying to couter the unhealthy lifestyle with a "healthy lifestyle". What is a healthy lifestyle? Well the main focus is the nourishment of my body. I want to feed it with foods I like and foods I want (Obviously!). A healthy lifestyle means I can indulge in what I want and still listen to my food cues to make sure I don't binge or overdo it. I want to be one of those people who gets physical exercise in every day in some form or the other. EVEN IN WINTER! I want to go to a party and not have any freakouts about what foods they're serving. I dont' want to self-sabotage or be unhappy with my body. I want to self-love completely and unconditionally. I want to wake up and take off my clothes, stretch and love what I see. That's the treatment I need to do and the results I want to see. Medications include good food, physical activity and LOTS OF SELF-LOVE.
Side-effects for all those medications should include: more toned muscles, better stamina both in and out of the sack ( haha!), weight loss (this is a side-effect, not a main result because my focus is on the lifestyle itself) and better skin.
Things I need to note as being counter-effective to the healthy lifestyle/symptoms of the condition:
1. I have had my period for 2 or 3 weeks now and so my hormones still have not regulated yet.
2. I have stopped tracking and I think that maybe necessary to achieve the weight-loss I need at least for the time being
3. I haven't exercised in 2 weeks because I work every day and every weekend doing two jobs. I need to squeeze this in, even for 10-20 mins/day
That's what I have so far. I will address each of these concerns and try to track again too!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Ughh NO TIME
I literally have NO TIME to write the post that is reflecting my latest thoughts on fitness/health> I will TRY to make time tonight.
I work every day 9-5 and then work on weekends for the GAP. I commute 2 hrs/day and so there is a 6am wakeup call and a 9pm-ish bedtime. still trying to get it together. WIll post later tonight.
I work every day 9-5 and then work on weekends for the GAP. I commute 2 hrs/day and so there is a 6am wakeup call and a 9pm-ish bedtime. still trying to get it together. WIll post later tonight.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Official Weigh In #4
Longer post forthcoming.
Quick update:
This week's weigh in puts me at 164.0lbs. So that's a loss of -0.4lbs. REALLY slow but steady loss. I think it would have been greater but 2 things:
1. my period is still going on.
2. SuperBOWL SUNDAY I ate tons and tons of food. And it took like 3 days to completely wash out that junk. So that probably cost some of that loss.
I'll write a longer post later (either tomorrow or sunday) about the good things I learned/did this week.
Quick update:
This week's weigh in puts me at 164.0lbs. So that's a loss of -0.4lbs. REALLY slow but steady loss. I think it would have been greater but 2 things:
1. my period is still going on.
2. SuperBOWL SUNDAY I ate tons and tons of food. And it took like 3 days to completely wash out that junk. So that probably cost some of that loss.
I'll write a longer post later (either tomorrow or sunday) about the good things I learned/did this week.
Monday, February 2, 2009
FOOD Fest
Ate tooo much last night at the party, but steps were taken immediately to rectify that situation--starting with the two-three glasses of water I chugged before sleeping.
Today I ate salad for lunch, and some soup for dinner. I have also done a Wii workout (and the wii showed me at a 1.1lb gain, which isn't too bad--considering).
So hopefully by Friday, my weigh in day, things will be back in style. Overall, I really enjoyed the superbowl and had tons of fun with my family. My team, the steelers won and it was A FUN FUN game to watch!! The two families, my family and my uncle's family were on opposite sides and so there was tons of screaming both at the tv and at eachother. It was MARVELOUS, if I do say so myself :D
I wouldn't trade last night for anything---even if less eating might have felt better this morning :D Oh well, new day, new way. Haha. that's what I always say. See I rhyme now.
Good night!!
Today I ate salad for lunch, and some soup for dinner. I have also done a Wii workout (and the wii showed me at a 1.1lb gain, which isn't too bad--considering).
So hopefully by Friday, my weigh in day, things will be back in style. Overall, I really enjoyed the superbowl and had tons of fun with my family. My team, the steelers won and it was A FUN FUN game to watch!! The two families, my family and my uncle's family were on opposite sides and so there was tons of screaming both at the tv and at eachother. It was MARVELOUS, if I do say so myself :D
I wouldn't trade last night for anything---even if less eating might have felt better this morning :D Oh well, new day, new way. Haha. that's what I always say. See I rhyme now.
Good night!!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
HAPPY DAY
WOOOOOH!!
Things that are making me happy today:
1. I woke up happy with my body. It's beautiful. It's healthy. It does SOO many amazing things for me. And I haven't weighed this low since the summer.
2. The WIi fit. me and my parents did it yesterday and we woke up and did it first thing in the morning. And I'm sore. Which is weird and sort of awesome. i love that doing a video game can bring me to that point. Today my Wii fit age was 27. Yesterday was 31, so I am improving. Hopefully by the summer time, I can actually be my own age. :D
3. THE BOYFRIEND IS COMING!!!! My boyfriend is coming to boston from pittsburgh in March. For 5 days!! Admittedly the semi-stinky thing will be that I'll be working until 3pm everyday. But my little brother has spring break and will be able to pick him up and hang out with him during the day time. And my friends offered up their couch for him to sleep on, and they live at BC. (My dad's still getting used to the idea that I have "boyfriends" in my life, and so I'm springing the man on him SLOWLY. haha)
4. I'm going to a superbowl party tonight!! With my one of my very best friends. It's at my cousins' house. So it should be great.
5. I just had my favorite breakfast ever!! Bread with butter.
6. I have you guys!! Thanks for being there and making me work harder and understand myself better. You guys are a GREAT support system and each have SOO much to offer. I thank you all.
That's it for now. Will post more stuff tomorrow, with perhaps some p ics from the partay.
Things that are making me happy today:
1. I woke up happy with my body. It's beautiful. It's healthy. It does SOO many amazing things for me. And I haven't weighed this low since the summer.
2. The WIi fit. me and my parents did it yesterday and we woke up and did it first thing in the morning. And I'm sore. Which is weird and sort of awesome. i love that doing a video game can bring me to that point. Today my Wii fit age was 27. Yesterday was 31, so I am improving. Hopefully by the summer time, I can actually be my own age. :D
3. THE BOYFRIEND IS COMING!!!! My boyfriend is coming to boston from pittsburgh in March. For 5 days!! Admittedly the semi-stinky thing will be that I'll be working until 3pm everyday. But my little brother has spring break and will be able to pick him up and hang out with him during the day time. And my friends offered up their couch for him to sleep on, and they live at BC. (My dad's still getting used to the idea that I have "boyfriends" in my life, and so I'm springing the man on him SLOWLY. haha)
4. I'm going to a superbowl party tonight!! With my one of my very best friends. It's at my cousins' house. So it should be great.
5. I just had my favorite breakfast ever!! Bread with butter.
6. I have you guys!! Thanks for being there and making me work harder and understand myself better. You guys are a GREAT support system and each have SOO much to offer. I thank you all.
That's it for now. Will post more stuff tomorrow, with perhaps some p ics from the partay.
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